Photo by Corinne Sutter
I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I have just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well. Diane Ackerman
Photo: Self Portrait, Lynne Azpeitia
Curious about how Lynne interacts? Read this excerpt ...
"One member of our group, Lynne Azpeitia, is a psychotherapist and coach who specializes in working with gifted and creative adults, www.gifted-adults.com. When she gives her feedback, we all listen intently because she’ll point out to us certain behaviors we are exhibiting that are typical of gifted people.
For example, someone asked how you would go about finding a good networking group when there are so many. I responded, “Google ‘networking in Los Angeles’, see what shows up that looks interesting, and go to the meeting. While you’re there, watch how people behave, how you feel in the room and see if it’s a fit. Then look for the warmest, friendliest, happy, successful looking dolphin-type person at the meeting and ask them where else they network. Then go to those meetings.”
Everyone thought that was a great idea, and Lynne jumped in to tell me that was a great piece of advice and should go into an article or a book.
As I made a note about it, she said, “That’s your genius, Chellie – these things just flow naturally from you. Gifted people aren’t always aware of the things they say and do that are special because it’s normal for them. They think everyone has ideas like that.”
I looked at her and laughed, “Lynne, what a brilliant marketing niche you have invented. All your clients get to feel like they are gifted, creative, and a genius! I sure love getting feedback like that.”
---Chellie Campbell"
The moment one gives close attention to any thing, even a blade of grass; it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.
Henry Miller
“Autonomy is a basic human need and, thus, healthy development requires autonomy-supportive environments.”
“The majority of social & emotional problems experienced by gifted persons are more likely to be exogenous in origin, particularly for children in school settings, or with peers that are not a good fit for them, or with parents who are uninformed about characteristics of gifted children.”
Give Lynne a call today & have a conversation with her about Gifted Adult Coaching or Therapy
“Underachievement often results, in addition to careless, incomplete, disorganized, poor quality, and procrastinated work because the school environment has not taught the challenging process required for achievement.”
Successful Coaching & Psychotherapy For Gifted, Talented & Creative Adults
Lynne Azpeitia's Approach
Multi-talented gifted and creative adults possess high intelligence, multiple talents and abilities, a commitment to excellence and an internal locus of control.
Coaching and psychotherapy with these gifted adults is not your ordinary coaching and psychotherapy. Working with 'multi-gifted' adults requires specialized knowledge, training and skills.
In this article, Lynne Azpeitia details the approach she's developed and used successfully in her coaching and psychotherapy work with multi-talented gifted adults.
Successful Coaching and Psychotherapy with Multi-Talented Gifted and Creative Adults
An article by Lynne Azpeitia, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
Gifted adults face challenging intrapersonal and interpersonal dilemmas because of their intelligence and multiple abilities. Crucial to the therapy and coaching of people with high intelligence, multiple talents, and abilities is the identification of their own differences in perceiving and experiencing the world and how to optimize a suitable personal, social, and work environment, one which nurtures the person as well as his or her own unique talents and abilities.
The Role of the Therapist & Coach with Gifted Adults
Gifted adults work best with therapists and coaches who collaborate with them. Collaborating is key because gifted adults are independent thinkers who maintain an internal locus of control and do not automatically adopt or rely on the opinions of authority figures for direction or instruction on what to do or how to do it.
While gifted adults may respect a therapist or coach’s ability and experience, they also respect their own. Any suggestion, solution or direction offered to them will be thoroughly considered on its own merits and if selected, customized to the gifted adult’s own situation. It is very important that the therapist or coach not take this personally if they are going to work with gifted adults.
Gifted adults work best with therapists and coaches who collaborate with them.
A therapist or coach must remember that a gifted adult’s motivation and drive is to become the best they can be. However, gifted adults are not asking their therapist or coach to make them the best, they are interested in doing it themselves.
Gifted people do many things alone and on their own, so it is very meaningful to them when someone understands them and works together with them.
There is no greater gift a therapist or coach can give to the gifted than working together with them.
Collaborating is key since gifted adults do not automatically adopt or rely on the opinions of any authority figures for direction or instruction on what to do or how to do it.
Overview of Therapy & Coaching with Gifted Adults
First and foremost gifted adults need to understand that just because others’ feelings, thoughts, perceptions, drives and behaviors are different from their own, there is nothing wrong with them. Although this may seem hard to believe, this is difficult work for a gifted adult.
While gifted adults may know cognitively that “there’s nothing wrong with me,” many years of being the “odd one out” with feelings, thoughts, perceptions, goals and behaviors has resulted in the fact that they subtly, and sometimes not so subtly, disbelieve the validity of what they think, perceive and experience. As one highly gifted coaching client said recently, “I have high self confidence, but low self esteem.”
A therapist or coach who acknowledges and supports a gifted client’s intuitions, perceptions, and thoughts is important because the majority of gifted adults live much of their daily lives without anyone who can share or understand what they are seeing, thinking or experiencing.
Gifted adults need to learn from their own experiences that their feelings, thoughts, perceptions, intuitions, and sensitivities are valid and can be understood by others. Until a gifted adult fully understands and appreciates how his or her thinking and perceiving system operates, he or she will experience intense worry, doubt, and anxiety.
Whenever a therapist or coach is able to consistently relate to a gifted client and his or her point of view, there is a turning point in the client’s sense of aloneness and alienation.
The experience of being supported and understood facilitates a gifted person’s acceptance of self and his or her talents and abilities, which, in turn, frees the gifted adult to focus on utilizing his or her talents and abilities in new and different ways. This is the most basic work in therapy and coaching with gifted adults.
Teaching a gifted adult to see the other person’s worldview in order to connect with them—not conform to them—is important. Therapy or coaching will need to focus on helping the gifted adult to develop skills to assess situations, communicate, and interact in his or her own best interests, and, more importantly, how to recognize a bad situation and what to do when nothing can be done to alter it.
Gifted Adult Therapy can help you to understand how to live a life without stress, strain, or struggle.
Essential, also, is helping the client to find, develop and maintain interpersonal and professional relationships with other gifted individuals, couples, families, groups, organizations and communities.The gifted benefit most from interacting with peers. A person with multiple abilities can never have too many gifted people in their lives.
Summary of Therapy & Coaching Issues
The first issue a gifted adult needs to face in coaching or therapy is identifying and becoming familiar with the traits of his or her own giftedness.
What are the traits I have and how does having them affect me personally in my daily living? What do I need to incorporate into my lifestyle to make sure that I am getting my needs met and am developing and using my talents?
How does it feel to be gifted? Now? In the past? What are the benefits? What are the burdens? What are the personal skills I need in order to live with my multiple abilities? How can I develop these skills?
The second issue the gifted adult must face is, What are the interpersonal consequences of the gifted traits I possess? How do my multiple talents and abilities affect others when I interact with them? How do others without these abilities experience the world? How can I interact with others so that my needs are met? How can I communicate with others so that I am understood? So I can communicate clearly and have good relationships?
The third issue the gifted adult must face is, What are the interpersonal skills I need to develop in order to deal with those people who are envious, jealous or sabotaging of me in my personal, professional or social environments? How does it feel to me when these things happen? What are old wounds in this area? Who are people I can talk to about these things? Who can I go to for help in healing these wounds so I can move forward whole, again?
The uniqueness of the gifted requires modifications in parenting, teaching and counseling in order for them to develop optimally. The Columbus Group
The fourth issue the gifted adult must face is how can I find, develop and maintain relationships with other gifted adults? Where do I find other gifted adults? How can I include other gifted adults in my life?
The fifth issue is an issue that continues no matter what the subject is, How does my being gifted influence my life on a daily basis? What are my thoughts and feelings about this? How are my goals for myself affected by my multiple talents, sensitivities and perceptions? Are my goals realistic for me at this time? What type of help, input and resources do I need in order to continue my own personal, professional and creative development? How do I feel about my achievements and the works I have in progress?
The sixth issue is an overall issue that is for the therapist or coach and the client: How can we work best together? What are the best ways we can collaborate to get the work done? What are the most important aspects of therapy or coaching for you, the gifted adult, as client?
Conclusion
Highly gifted, talented and creative individuals have much to gain from a skilled and informed therapist or coach who is willing to actively and effectively engage them.
I have enjoyed my work with highly gifted, talented and creative adult for more than 15 years, and I expect to enjoy it for many more.
Good luck to you in your learning adventures in growth and development.
© Lynne Azpeitia
Here are some of the books I recommend to my gifted adult clients.
Click Here to Contact Lynne About Her Services for Gifted Adults
Lynne Azpeitia, MFT
310-828-7121
3025 Olympic Blvd, Santa Monica, CA 90404
Coaching, Psychotherapy & Consultation
Contact Lynne About Services for Gifted Adults
Coaching, Counseling & Consulting Services Also Available by Phone & Skype
For Books For & About Gifted Adults for Gifted Adults & Helping Professionals, Click Here.
“Managing others is strength. Managing yourself is true power.”
Lynne Azpeitia
The Gifted Adult Therapist & Coach
310-828-7121
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So what I don’t understand is, why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out? Anonymous
“How much self-esteem you have determines your levels of vitality, enthusiasm and personal magnetism.”
“Gifted people seem to respond better to a therapeutic approach that is collegial, or like coaching or mentoring, and they want to be active participants in the process.”
To make an appointment or to start your Gifted Adult Coaching sessions,
email Lynne or call her at 310-828-7121 to arrange a free phone consultation
Genius is the ability to renew one's emotions in daily experience. Paul Cezanne Photo: Lynne Azpeitia
“Reason is mechanical, wit chemical, and genius, organic spirit. ”
Give me a place to stand, and I shall move the world. Archimedes Photo: Lynne Azpeitia
Email or call Lynne at 310-828-7121 to talk with her or to arrange a free phone consultation
Is It a Cheetah?
Stephanie S. Tolan
Giftedness, a global, integrative mental capacity, may be dismissed, replaced by fragmented "talents" which seem less threatening and theoretically easier for schools to deal with. Instead of an internal developmental reality that affects every aspect of a child's life, "intellectual talent" is more and more perceived as synonymous with (and limited to) academic achievement.
The child who does well in school, gets good grades, wins awards, and "performs" beyond the norms for his or her age, is considered talented. The child who does not, no matter what his innate intellectual capacities or developmental level, is less and less likely to be identified, less and less likely to be served.....More
The Many Sides of Being Gifted
Rita Richardson
Life's not always a bowl of cherries for those golden, "gifted," young teens. Many are beset with problems ranging from overcompetitiveness to difficulty in getting and keeping friends. Tremendous pressures and the usual developmental issues combine to leave many young gifted teens adrift in a sea of changes and choices. Once parents and teachers become aware of this side of "giftedness," they can support their gifted teens and help them to.....More
Practice Opportunities with Gifted Children and their Families
James T. Webb, Ph.D., Rosina M. Gallagher, Ph.D., Marianne Kuzujanakis, M.D.
An important, yet neglected, area of practice for psychologists involves the education required to work confidently and knowledgeably with gifted and talented children and their families. Clinical and educational practice strongly focuses on disadvantaged children and little awareness exists that talented and gifted children are at risk for, say, underachievement, peer relationship issues, power struggles, perfectionism, existential depression and misdiagnosis. More
Dabrowski's Theory of Positive Disintegration
Elizabeth Mika
Developmental potential is the “original endowment determining the level to which an individual can develop, if his physical and social conditions are optimal.” (1984). Developmental potential (DP) expresses the relationship between individual development and three main groups of factors influencing this development.
First factor – genetic and permanent physical traits (intelligence, OE, special talents, bodily constitution, temperament) (external locus of control and motivation). Second factor – influences of social environment (external locus of control and motivation). Third factor – autonomous forces and processes such as consciousness, inner conflict, free will and choice in one’s development, conscious self-transformation, etc. Third factor makes self-determination possible and is necessary for creativity and advanced development. “An active conscience.”
"One could say that one who manifests a given form of overexcitability, and especially one who manifests several forms of overexcitability, sees reality in a different, stronger and more multisided manner. Reality for such an individual ceases to be indifferent but affects him deeply and leaves long-lasting impressions. Enhanced excitability is thus a means for more frequent interactions and a wider range of experiencing."…More
Cultivating Your Self-Esteem
Brian Tracy
Your self-esteem is probably the most important part of your personality. It precedes and predicts your performance in almost everything you do. It is the energy source or the reactor core of your personality, and how much self-esteem you have determines your levels of vitality, enthusiasm and personal magnetism. People with high self-esteem are more positive, more likable and more effective in every part of their lives.
Everything that you do or say or think will affect your self-esteem. Your job, therefore, is to keep your self-esteem high and positive on a continuing basis. Probably the best definition of self-esteem is this: the level to which you respect and value yourself as an important, worthwhile person. People with high self-esteem feel terrific about themselves and their lives. When you feel really good about yourself, you tend to be the very best person you could possibly be. Your level of self-esteem is really your level of "mental fitness.".....More
Why Nerds Are Unpopular
Paul Graham
Even if nerds cared as much as other kids about popularity, being popular would be more work for them. The popular kids learned to be popular, and to want to be popular, the same way the nerds learned to be smart, and to want to be smart: from their parents. While the nerds were being trained to get the right answers, the popular kids were being trained to please...More
The Secret Dimension
Peter Brook
Every phenomenon arises from a field of energies: every thought, every feeling, every movement of the body is the manifestation of a specific energy., and in the lopsided human being one energy, is constantly swelling up to swamp the other. This endless pitching and tossing between mind, feeling, and body produces a fluctuating series of impulses, each of which deceptively asserts itself as "me": as one desire replaces another, there can be no continuity of intention, no true wish, only the chaotic pattern of contradiction in which we all live, in which the ego has the illusion of will power and independence. Gurdjieff calls this "the terror of the situation."...More
Is Every Child Gifted? Probably Not. Definitions of Giftedness Scott Barry Kaufman
Every parent of course wants to think his or her child is special. And rest assured parents-your child is special. At least, there is no other child on earth with the same precise mix of genes, experience, and pattern of strengths and weaknesses. So parents--take a deep breath--your child is indeed very special.
That is not at issue. The critical question is, "is your child gifted?". To answer this question, two additional questions have to be considered...More