What's terrible is to pretend that the second-rate is first-rate. To pretend that you don't need love when you do; or you like your work when you know quite well you're capable of better.
Doris Lessing
“One member of our group, Lynne Azpeitia, is a psychotherapist and coach who specializes in working with gifted and creative adults, www.gifted-adults.com. When she gives her feedback, we all listen intently because she’ll point out to us certain behaviors we are exhibiting that are typical of gifted people.”
“The greatest compliment that was ever paid to me was when someone asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer.”
True happiness involves the full use of one's power and talents.
John W. Gardner
“A leader’s job is to help people have a vision of their potential.”
Email Lynne or give her a call to have a conversation about the benefits of Coaching or Therapy for Gifted Adults
The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. Carl Jung
“The sun teaches to all things that grow their longing for the light. But it is night that raises them to the stars.”
“Sometimes you just have to take the leap, and build your wings on the way down.”
The Unique Challenges of Gifted & Creative Adults
Gifted Adult Challenges, Problems & Difficulties
An article by Lynne Azpeitia
Gifted, talented and creative adults face unique challenges, problems and difficulties while living their lives because of their high intelligence, overexcitabilities and multiple abilities.
Gifted, Talented & Creative Adults need:
multiple sources of stimulation for their curiosity, talents and abilities
a safe environment in which they can fully be themselves
to feel understood, accepted, respected and valued by others
to understand themselves, their needs and their gifts
to be involved intellectually, emotionally, artistically with others who think, feel and act as they do
a variety of outlets for the expression of their interests, talents and abilities
to have and build supportive connections
to develop ways to further personal, professional and creative growth and development
to identify, understand and meet their intellectual, creative, social and emotional needs throughout their lives
to understand the problems and challenges they face when their intellectual, creative, social and emotional needs are not identified, understood or met adequately.
When the intellectual, creative, social and emotional needs of Gifted, Talented & Creative Adults are denied or are not identified, understood or adequately met, gifted adults are at high risk for a variety of personal, relationship and career challenges, problems and difficulties.
Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence. Helen Keller
When the daily lives and relationships of gifted adults do not include enough opportunities for the utilization of their multidimensional gifts, talents and abilities, Gifted, Talented & Creative Adults will experience a variety of ongoing personal, relationship and career challenges, problems and difficulties.
Life persists in the vulnerable, the sensitive-they carry it on. The invulnerable, the too heavily armored, perish. Elizabeth Taylor
When the conditions listed above do not exist, gifted adults will also suffer greatly.
They will most likely experience high levels of stress, anxiety, agitation, depression and depletion. Major bouts of depression and suicidal thoughts and feelings are also not uncommon.
Helping professionals who are not informed about giftedness and the specialized needs and experience of the gifted can make, and have made, difficult and challenging situations even more stressful for gifted adults.
Books For & About Gifted Adults for Gifted Adults & Helping Professionals
Because the developmental trajectory of gifted and creative adults follows a different pattern than that which occurs in the general population therapists, coaches and helping professionals need specialized learning and training to adequately meet the needs of gifted adults who seek out their help and expertise.
When Gifted, Talented & Creative Adults receive advice and services that are appropriate for the general population, their condition and symptoms worsen, they do not improve and oftentimes they will be blamed or blame themselves for their worsening condition or lack of improvement.
Contact Lynne About Her Services for Gifted Adults
Advanced and asynchronous development, overexcitabilities and multipotentiality all require specialized knowledge, interaction and intervention for a successful outcome.
It is important for gifted and creative adults to be supported and helped by coaches, therapists and others who are genuinely knowledgeable about giftedness and how to interact with gifted people or by those who are willing to learn.
It is also important that the professional working with a gifted person be in the same IQ range because every 10 to 15 IQ points is a different world.
If the IQ is more than 30 points apart, it will be difficult, if not impossible, to share the same perceptual and processing perspective and experience—this will then create even more problems and difficulties.
When gifted, talented and creative adults are involved intellectually, emotionally, or artistically with others who think and act as they do, have a safe and understanding environment in which they can fully be themselves, and have supportive connections their sense of well-being, happiness and self esteem increase--so does their creativity and productivity.
Here are many of the books I recommend to my gifted clients.
Gifted talented and creative adults and others need to know and understand that unless gifted adults can relate to, believe in or love the activities they are engaged in, they will
most likely lose their equilibrium
become off balance physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
have nagging doubts about themselves, their abilities and their competencies
engage in self blame and self doubt
overwork and have a tendency to burn out
not enjoy life, work or relating
have a tendency to isolate themselves when their usual practice would be to be more social
suffer from feelings of not doing enough or being enough
escape into other activities but experience no relief from doing so.
Gifted, talented and creative adults are a precious resource and need to learn about themselves and their specialized needs and requirements—and find ways to fulfill them adequately.
I would not waste my life in friction when it could be turned into momentum. Frances Willard
There are many ways gifted and creative adults can learn about meeting their needs, psychotherapy, coaching, reading, gifted groups and classes, internet, and many others. However, without the right education, help and support in this area many gifted, talented and creative adults will continue to struggle and suffer needlessly.
Gifted, Talented & Creative Adults need to identify, understand and meet their intellectual, creative, social and emotional needs—and the world will be a better and much happier place for all.
Imagine, for a moment, a world where Gifted, Talented & Creative Adults and their specialized needs are understood, respected, valued and included.
That’s a world I’m looking forward to. How about you?
Lynne Azpeitia, MFT
310-828-7121
3025 Olympic Blvd, Santa Monica, CA 90404
Encouraging, supporting and guiding gifted adults to achieve their goals and realize their dreams.
To schedule a session, begin coaching or arrange a free phone consultation, Email Lynne or call 310-828-7121
Contact Lynne About Coaching & Counseling Services for Gifted Adults
Coaching, Counseling & Consulting Services Also Available by Phone & Skype
Interested in reading more? Click here for books for Gifted Adults
Lynne Azpeitia
The Gifted Adult Coach
310-828-7121
PHONE & VIDEO SESSIONS AVAILABLE
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“If you are only now beginning to recognize your giftedness, you may find yourself trapped between two identities: the ordinary self that habitually and unquestioningly yields to the expectations of others, and the gifted self that must have time and freedom to devote to your talents.”
For me, every day is a new thing. I approach each project with a new insecurity, almost like the first project I ever did. And I get the sweats. I go in and start working, I'm not sure where I'm going. If I knew where I was going I wouldn't do it. Frank Gehry
To schedule a session or arrange a free phone consultation, Email Lynne or call 310-828-7121
“Sometimes gifted individuals hide who they really are in order to better fit in, and thus (unfortunately) underachievement and “dumbing down” are common tactics of this population. It can take tremendous energy to open up and be yourself in a world that appears to prefer your camouflage to your real skin. I say, be bold, be brave—and be yourself!”
Challenges make life interesting, however, overcoming them is what makes life meaningful. Mark Twain
“There is a way that nature speaks, that land speaks. Most of the time we are simply not patient enough, quiet enough, to pay attention to the story.”
“For whatever reason, intellectually gifted children are, more often than not, held back in their learning to conform to the pace of other children in their class. In Australia the practice is so explicitly recognized that It even has a special name: “cutting down the tall poppies”.”
Understanding Very, Very Smart People
Samuel Kohlenberg, LPC
Being smart is really hard. There may be people with high IQs who have an easy time in life; relationships are simple, work and school are a breeze, and they long ago addressed the existentialist questions that some of us might carry with us until the very end. I wish them well, and what follows is not about them.
...Trying is a skill. If you’re so smart, why aren’t work and school easy all of the time? If you have had a lifetime of being able to intuit your way through school or work, it also means that you have a lifetime of not cultivating the skill of trying. More...
Giftedness is Heart & Soul
Annemarie Roeper
The traditional model of education tends to look at human beings as basically driven by cognition. It focuses more on that which is testable, on that which can be learned and reproduced. It sees the human being primarily as rational and logical. It sees education as a linear process leading to achievement. It sees giftedness as high achievement and the highly gifted as the highest achievers. An alternative model of education called, "Self Actualization and Interdependence" (SAI), sees education as a global, all-encompassing process of growth. It sees giftedness in an emotional context in which the cognitive is included. This perspective changes every aspect of education including the goal of education, assessment, curriculum and community structure, and is reflected in the view of the highly gifted.…More
Gifted and Left Behind
Shaunne McKinley
Many students of color get overlooked for gifted and advanced classes because teachers don’t think they are capable of achieving or being successful, and most parents are not aware of available programs. Based on a report from the Gifted Education Research & Resource Institute at Purdue University, 3.6 million children are missing out on gifted education, and students of color (Black/Hispanic) are the most under identified. The lack of academic challenge and higher level thinking limits the success of Black students as adults. More…
8 Issues That Impact Adults Who Used To Be Gifted Children
Samantha Rodman Whiten
In my practice, I get a lot of highly verbal, high achieving and/or intellectual clients, which I can attribute to the fact that these are the people who tend to research their own issues at length and come upon my articles. Often, these clients have had the experience of being categorized as a “gifted child.” There are many commonalities among kids that were intellectually or academically advanced. If this describes you, understanding these points can help give you a clearer handle on certain challenges that may come up in your adulthood. More…
Schopenhauer on What Makes a Genius and the Crucial Difference Between Talent and Genius Maria Popova Schopenhauer’s central premise is that talent achieves what others cannot achieve, whereas genius achieves what others cannot imagine. This vision of a different order, he argues, is what sets geniuses apart from mere mortals, and it arises from a superior capacity for contemplation that leads the genius to transcend the smallness of the ego and enter the infinite world of ideas. More...
Brains on Fire: The Multimodality of Gifted Thinkers
Brock Eide and Fernette Eide
There is the abundant available evidence that gifted children show enhanced sensory activation and awareness. Gifted brains are essentially "hyper-sensitive," and can be rendered even more so through training. Not only are the initial impressions especially strong, but also the later recollections are often unusually intense or vivid. Because vivid initial impressions correlate with better recollection, gifted brains are also characterized by increased memory efficiency and capacity. These memories are not only especially intense and enduring memories, but they are also frequently characterized by multimodality, involving memory areas that store many different types of memories, such as personal associations, different sensory modalities like color, sound, smell, or visual images, or verbal or factual impressions. This multimodality means that gifted thinkers often make connections in ways other people don't. They frequently have special abilities in associational thinking (including analogy and metaphor) and in analytical or organizational skills (through which diverse associations are understood and systematized). More...
The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and The Importance of Imagination
J.K. Rowling
....Ultimately, we all have to decide for ourselves what constitutes failure, but the world is quite eager to give you a set of criteria if you let it. So I think it fair to say that by any conventional measure, a mere seven years after my graduation day, I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless. The fears that my parents had had for me, and that I had had for myself, had both come to pass, and by every usual standard, I was the biggest failure I knew......More
Can You Hear the Flowers Sing? Issues for Gifted Adults
Deirdre V. Lovecky
There has been comparatively little focus in the literature on the characteristics and social and emotional needs of gifted adults. Using observational data, the author attempts to delineate some of the positive and negative social effects of traits displayed by gifted adults. Five traits (divergency, excitability, sensitivity, perceptivity, and entelechy) seem to produce potential interpersonal and intrapersonal conflict. Unless gifted adults learn to value themselves and find support, identity conflicts and depression may result. Emphasis on self-growth through knowing and accepting self leads to the discovery of sources of personal power. Nurturing relationships through realistic expectations and learning to share oneself provides a supportive environment in which gifted adults can grow and flourish. More…
Distractions
Chellie Campbell
Once a month, I hold a Money Mastery Network mastermind group...they are all incredibly talented, smart, creative entrepreneurs as well as loving, kind, and caring friends. I’ve run this group for probably 15 years or so, and people tend to stay for years at a time. Since I don’t take more than 12 people, I always have a waiting list. One meeting, Lynne and Sandra were talking about how they waited for their space for a long time, and when the call came “there’s a space if you want it” they jumped at it. Whoever is participating in the group at any particular time, it is always magical. The deep love and support we have for each other allows each member to be completely authentic, share freely from the well of their creativity, work out problems, cry over tragedies, and get the most intelligent, loving feedback imaginable...More
Managing the Blessing & Burden of Being A Gifted, Talented & Creative Adult
Lynne Azpeitia
"Sometimes when you climb a mountain, the oxygen is a little thin.”
Being a Gifted, Talented, and/or Creative adult can be a challenge. There are so many things that you want to do (and are capable of doing) that it can be overwhelming to figure out what to focus on first…
And there’s also the trouble of dealing with people who are jealous and don’t really understand you, which can lead to even more challenges in relationships or at the workplace. If this is you and you’ve been going through a season of struggle, support is on the way. There are healers who have trained their entire careers to be there for you when times get tough. Our guest today is one of them. Lynne Azpeitia joins us to talk about how to create a focused, balanced, and goal-oriented daily routine that puts Self-Appreciation at the forefront, and is created with your unique needs in mind. Join us for some love, laughs, and “ah-ha” moments as we explore how you can "Manage the Blessing and Burden of Being a Gifted, Talented, and/or Creative Adult". More…
Why We Should Care About the Gifted
Linda Silverman
Today, I come to you on a mission. I want to transform your perception of giftedness, so that you can understand the challenges gifted individuals face throughout their lives. I believe the main reason they suffer is that we do not really understand what giftedness is. The lack of appreciation of their differences permeates their psyches from early childhood to old age. They are constantly given inappropriate messages about themselves: who they should be and how they should perform. We have no idea how destructive we are to this precious, vulnerable segment of society. We should be celebrating the gifted among us, not demoralizing them. More…
Gifted Asynchronous Development and Sensory Integration
Anne Cronin
Parents of children who develop differently are under different pressures and have many difficult decisions to make. As the internet makes information so accessible, families often find themselves in information overload when looking for resources for their child. Popular books like, The Out-of-Sync Child (Kranowitz, 1998) have informed families about sensory integration difficulties that might have never been referred to an occupational therapist. Families of children who are both highly gifted, and have some other exceptionality are increasingly looking toward sensory integration as a resource for their children. More…
Gifted Adults: Embracing Complexity
Gail Post
Gifted adults may be surprised to realize that they have not outrun their childhood difficulties. In some ways, we all carry our middle schools selves around with us. But gifted adults often assume they have jettisoned that frustration and grief-filled childhood baggage along with way.
Not so fast.
Gifted adults often face the same challenges in their social, emotional and work lives that created stress during childhood. However, as adults, they possess the resources, maturity and wisdom to manage and overcome these difficulties. They even can learn to embrace and enjoy their complexity! Here are a few examples…More…
The Writing Problems of Visual Thinkers
Gerald Grow
Visual thinkers have difficulty organizing expository prose because their preferred mode of thought is fundamentally different from the organization of expository prose. Prose is organized by story, focus, sequence, drama, and analysis -- none of which is native to the visual thinker. The writing of a visual thinker is like a map of all the possibilities; a verbal thinker writes like a guided tour …More
An Interview with Dr. Mark Goulston: Listening to Gifted Children and Adolescents
Michael Shaughnessy
Question by Michael Shaughnessy: Mark, as a psychiatrist, what challenges do you encounter when working with gifted children?
Answer by Mark Goulston: Gifted children have a great deal of trouble tolerating boredom, repetitiveness and lack of challenge. They also often have trouble paying attention to something that they don’t think they’ll need in their future if they have a clear idea of what they want to do when they get older, based on their gifts.
Question: What do you see as their particular social and emotional needs? Answer: They often have trouble listening to people who are not as quick, smart and bright as they are or who are talking about things that don’t interest them. As a result they can appear distracted, impatient or irritable when put in those situations. Such behavior and attitudes are nearly always seen as being negative by teachers and other adults. More…
Why Gifted Adults Face Unique Career Change Challenges
Cathy Goodwin
When gifted children become adults, they face unique career challenges, especially if they don't recognize themselves as gifted. They might try to fit into corporate life, only to get frustrated. Corporate life rewards qualities like frustration tolerance and conformity. Gifted adults tend to get bored easily and have trouble conforming, even when they want to.
Gifted adults tend to be rewarded when they find themselves in careers and environments that support their abilities. Examples include scientists, professors in research-oriented universities, authors, and many other professions. Some gifted adults know how to "play the game," moving beyond unrewarding entry level jobs to reach positions where they can use their gifts. More…