As seen on Pico Blvd. in Santa Monica, CA. Photo: Lynne Azpeitia

Without continuous personal development you are now all that you will ever become, and hell starts when the person you are, meets the person you could have been.  Eli Cohen

Without continuous personal development you are now all that you will ever become, and hell starts when the person you are, meets the person you could have been.  Eli Cohen

Email Lynne or give her a call to have a conversation about the benefits of Coaching or Therapy for Gifted Adults
People have important things to communicate. Speaking from your heart allows the emotionally difficult, the ordinary, and the wonderful things in our lives to be communicated and received.
— David & Bruce McArthur, The Intelligent Heart

It is only in adventure that some people succeed in knowing themselves - in finding themselves.      Andre Gide.

Talent is a fire, genius is a flame.
— Bern Williams

The Gifted Adult Experience

What Gifted Adults Need to Thrive 

Everyday I work with gifted adults--practical geniuses, original creators and innovative contributors.  In our collaborative coaching and therapy work together they become more aware of the role giftedness plays in their lives--and how they can utilize their multiple talents, interests and abilities to create, and live fully, the life they imagine.

If you can't run with the big dogs, stay on the porch.   Anonymous  

For the most part, these gifted and creative adults--and most of those I come in contact with outside my Gifted Adult coaching and psychotherapy practice--have no information about what they require in order to thrive or the interpersonal, intrapersonal and occupational effects and implications of their own giftedness, creativity, multiple abilities and divergent thinking.  

Many of the problems that beset the gifted can be traced to the lack of awareness, understanding, and acceptance of the differences inherent in being developmentally advanced.           
                          Linda Silverman         

Once these gifted adults realize that their advanced development and multiple abilities, life long interest in learning, drive to make things better, and quest for growth are giftedness personified, they find it liberating!

Gifted potential means a child learns at a faster pace (with minimum repetition) and a higher level (with more complex and in-depth ideas).
                  Bertie Kilgore

The challenges they have been experiencing living their lives make sense and a whole new world of possibilities opens up for them.  They begin to understand and value who they are and how they operate.

Gifted thinkers are rarely one-mode thinkers. Rather, they are great organizers of diverse and multi-modal information.
                   Brock & Fernette Eide
 

Then we work together to create and fine tune the life and work they desire.  It's quite an adventure.

Emotional and social diversity are as clearly manifest in gifted persons as is intellectual exceptionality.
     Bruce Kline & Elizabeth Meckstroth

Getting to know each gifted adult and creating personalized services tailored to their unique needs, desires interest, and personal vision, is a wonderful and worthwhile experience--and one of the things I enjoy most about working with gifted, talented and creative adults.

I recommend it.

To schedule an appointment, begin coaching or arrange a free phone consultation, email Lynne or call her at 310-828-7121 

Lynne Azpeitia, MFT
310-828-7121 
3025 Olympic Blvd, Santa Monica, CA 90404   

Coaching, Psychotherapy & Consultation 

 Contact Lynne About Services for Gifted Adults

Coaching, Counseling & Consulting Services Also Available by Phone & Skype

Interested in reading more? Click here for books for Gifted Adults

Lynne Azpeitia 
 
The Gifted Adult Coach
 
310-828-7121

Lynne@Gifted-Adults.com  

We are not paying enough attention to trying to teach gifted people how to cope with their lives in the adult world. Far too many of them find their drive and creativity thwarted by persons or establishments who regard them as either silly or threatening.
— Marylou Kelly Streznewski

When we learn to manage our emotions long enough to stop and shift our attention to the quieter message of the heart, we can gain a wider perspective on any situation, often saving ourselves from hurt, frustration and pain.     Doc Childre & Howard Martin     Photo: Lynne Azpeitia

Both gifted children and adults often have trouble turning off their brains enough to fall sleep at night. For many it starts in infancy and lasts their whole life. Some people say it is because gifted people don’t need as much sleep, and while we are not sure that is true or not, it is certainly true that they often learn to survive on less.
— The Gifted Identity Project

Wholeness

Sylvia Ho's Guide to Wholeness of the Gifted Human Being

1.  Intellectual growth and development through continuous learning.

2.  Creating works of imagination bridges conscious/subconscious.  Healthy expression of spirit within.

3.  Exercising love, compassion, mercy and kindness nurtures pathways to the soul.  Ensures heart/soul connections are flowing.

4.  Playing and having fun regularly to connect with the child within; enliven and recharge spirit.

5.  Practicing use of touch, sight, hearing and smell to access beauty invigorates and refreshes the body and mind.

6. Regular exercise to maintain healthy corpus; meditation to maintain healthy mind.  

Permission To Be A Growing, Changing, Imperfect Person 

Many gifted individuals are born with a sense or understanding of how things (ideas, morality, justice) should be. They see more possibilities, imagine greater outcomes, and have loftier ideals than others.  They can see from an early age what perfection looks like. 

As a result, their peers, teachers and significant others, hold inappropriate or overly inflated expectations for them. These expectations, whether directly stated or implied, are sensed by the individual and he/she responds by trying to be perfect in order to meet the expectations of others.

But achieving perfection is difficult and often unrewarded by the outside world. So it is paramount for gifted individuals to try to develop realistic and satisfying expectations for themselves and others.  

                                                                                                                            Sharon Lind

Loneliness & Isolation

Is loneliness of the artist any different from the loneliness of the average person?  Sometimes it seems that to be a "voice crying in the wilderness" is part of the artist's job description.  The nature of having a unique vision is that no one else has it yet. 

I think we are given visions or inspirations precisely because no one else has them.  Our job is to buck the trend of what already exists, to swim against the current, to bring the tablets down from the mountaintop or to embody some other suitably Promethean metaphor.  But this could be said in every field, really. 

Inspired contribution is everyone's job description, not just that of the artist, and in as in all fields, some artists are better at it than others.  Those who are best at bringing inspiration in tangible form,  whether artistic, social or scientific, are often too busy attending their vision to think about whether they are lonely or not.

Bandhu Dunham

 Books for Gifted, Talented, and Creative Adults and for Professionals who work with them 

Jim Campbell, Exploded Views (Improv) (installation detail), 2011; 2880 LED lights. This installation explodes the moving image into three dimensions. Thousands of computer-controlled LED spheres create the illusion of fleeting shadowlike figures that dissolve and resolve.

 

Problems Due to Parental Understanding of Giftedness

Family problems occur most often because parents of gifted children (a) lack information about gifted children, (b) lack support for appropriate parenting, or (c) are attempting to cope with their own unresolved problems (which may have to do with their own experiences with being gifted).

Despite conventional beliefs that “every parent has a gifted child,” parents—particularly fathers—often overlook or underplay signs of precocious intellectual development in their children (Silverman, 1991; Webb et al., 2007), though they may recognize their child as different from other children. Most parents apply guidelines and norms derived from children of average abilities or that emphasize minimally expected developmental criteria (Webb & Kleine, 1993). Parental puzzlement and frustration often result.

Sometimes parents’ own unresolved issues with giftedness contribute to family problems. Commonalities of heredity and environment usually (though not always) result in gifted children having gifted parents (Silverman, 1991). However, most parents are unaware of how bright they are or how it affects their lives. The intensity, impatience, and high expectancies that characterize these parents, if not mediated by self understanding, can create an environment of misery for those within the family.
                                                                                                                                                                       James Webb     

Introversion

Revenge of the Introverts
Jeb Livingood
 
The future looks superficially grim for society's introverts. With the continuous enhancement of pagers, teleconferencing, cellular phones, and the development of personal communicators, a growing verbal inferno threatens to engulf the world's quieter individuals. Yet, silent as they may be, introverts can have a lot to say given the right forum. They've found that the internet can help them communicate in their preferred manner; a written dialogue with time to pause for thought and analysis....More

You are the product of your own brainstorm. Rosemary K. Steinbaum  
Jim Campbell, Exploded Views, 2011, SF MOMA
Photo: Lynne Azpeitia

 

What Makes Gifted Adults Thrive?

  • Collaborating with smart, talented and creative people who help them recognize and make the most of their unique talents, interests and creative genius.
  • Working with therapists, counselors and gifted adult coaches who help them acquire the tools, information, understanding, confidence and experience they need to achieve their goals, have a meaningful and productive life and to realize their personal vision.
  • Encouragement,  support and guidance in understanding themselves and their abilities so they can have the success and happiness they deserve.

Five Characteristics of Extra Intelligence (Xi)

  Our concept of eXtra intelligence (Xi) is marked by five characteristics, as follows:

  1. Intellectually able: grasps complicated issues relatively easily, takes leaps in the thinking process, has a low tolerance for stupidities, and may become careless when asked to do simple tasks.
  2. Incurably inquisitive: always curious about what’s beyond the horizon, fascinated as long as something is new, easily pursuing manifold interests. Has a low tolerance for boredom and may be slow in bringing an already-solved problem to a conclusion.
  3. Need for autonomy: Can work on one’s own and prefers to schedule tasks oneself. Will respond aversely to absolute power and formalities, and react allergically to bosses or others who exercise tight control. Will utilize fight or flight when autonomy is threatened.
  4. Excessive zeal in pursuit of interests: Can be inexhaustible and keyed-up as long as a problem is interesting and still unsolved. But will drop it readily when the specific curiosity has been satisfied. Can put too much energy into the wrong projects. Does not like others to perform according to low standards.
  5. Emotionally insecure, intellectually self-confident: Knows in the head that he or she is right, but fears in the stomach that he or she will not win the case. This can easily lead to perfectionism, fear of failing, or escalating know-it-all-ness and arrogance to mask the uncertainty. Is vulnerable to a stupid or blunt display of power.

..if someone recognizes him- or herself strongly or emotionally in a minimal three out of five characteristics, it proves to be worthwhile for that person to investigate the subject of Xi or giftedness further, to personally verify the hypothesis that this subject may have something to do with that someone.

Willem Kuipers

Gifted & Creative Geese   

We can learn from the “V” formation. If we have the sense of a goose we will learn to fly point, to take our turn as head goose, to rotate back in the wing when we get tired, to recognize when we’re out of formation and get back in, as well as how to lend help and protection when needed and to fly on our own or with another formation when we need to catch up with our group.

Lynne Azpeitia

The “V” Formation

When geese fly in “V” formation, each bird flaps its wings to create an uplift for the bird immediately following. By flying in “V” formation, the whole flock adds at least 71 per cent greater flying range than if each bird flew on its own.

When the head goose gets tired, it rotates back in the wing and another goose flies point.

When a goose falls out of formation it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go it alone—and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird in front.

When a goose gets sick or is wounded by a gunshot, and falls out of formation, two other geese fall out with that goose and follow it down to lend help and protection. They stay with the fallen goose until it is able to fly or until it dies; and only then do they launch out on their own or with another formation to catch up with their group.

People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going more quickly and easily because they are traveling on the thrust of one another.

If we have as much sense as a goose, we will stay in formation with those people who are headed the same way we are. If we have the sense of a goose we will stand by our friends.

Adapted from Condensed Chicken Soup for the Soul
Compiled by J. Canfield, MV Hansen and P. Hansen

venus-1.jpg

For Many, Being Gifted Brings Lifelong Struggle 
 
Interview With E. Paul Torrance, Educator and Psychologist
 
How can parents tell If their children are gifted and what are the special needs of such youngsters? An expert offers advice on the unusually talented, and on handling their problems as they grow up.......More  

Underachievement & Perfectionism
Michael Cornale
Two achievement issues that seem to concern people in dealing with gifted students are underachievement and perfectionism.  How do you define underachievement and perfectionism?
They are not independent. They are both dysfunctional, both self defeating.  Both represent an impractical approach to practical problems.  Perfectionism tends to be.......More 

Profoundly Gifted Guilt
James Delisle
 
I have noticed what I have come to call PGG or "Profoundly Gifted Guilt," which is the feeling that, in some important ways, parents of extremely gifted children feel unable to adequately raise the child they have been given. These genuine feelings of inadequacy are simultaneously well meaning and ill-placed, for when we downplay our competencies as parents, we do a disservice to both our children and ourselves, as we underestimate the effects of our own importance on the lives of our children...More

If Only I Had Known: Lessons from Gifted Adults
Mary-Elaine Jacobsen
I have received phone calls, letters, and e-mails from gifted people around the world and have been fascinated by the similarity of their impassioned comments. Whether from New York City, rural Arizona, Costa Rica, or France, each of them has voiced astonished relief: “For the first time I feel like somebody gets it.” “At last I can see myself clearly!” “Finally I have figured out what has always been wrong with me, and it’s not wrong at all!” “If only I had known!”
No matter what their background, they confess to having felt misunderstood for years; to being bored, held back, and plagued by self-doubt; and to struggling with loneliness...More

Extraordinary Lives and Difficult Goals
Sidney Moon, Ph.D.

Children who discover their Personal Talent lead extraordinary lives and accomplish difficult goals. The more choices, the stronger the personal talent. academic and personal life. She proffered the idea that society harms gifted children by focusing on their academic abilities while ignoring their interests and values. This results in a child with very few choices who at the same time neglects his/her own desires and wishes...More

Are You A Scanner
Barbara Sher

Scanners love to read and write, to fix and invent things, to design projects and businesses, to cook and sing, and to create the perfect dinner party. (You'll notice I didn't use the word "or," because Scanners don't love to do one thing or the other; they love them all.)...More